If it doesn't look good, you're clearly not close enough.

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 08:02:17 GMT

00:23 Happy birthday @mattfraction, though that will still not stop me from wanting to shoot you in the face over Xbox Live. #
03:29 GAhhhhhhhh #
10:20 I have this stuck in my head this morning. Happy Tuesday! www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULjCSK0oOlI #
12:38 PHOTOGRAPHERS! Anybody here use Viewbook? Good? Bad? #
12:57 twitpic.com/rqv5t - #
12:58 OHMYGOD YOU GUYS!!! twitpic.com/rqv5t #
13:12 "House Wife" by Julia Galdo. iconology.therndm.com/archive/house-wife-julia-galdo/721 #
13:16 It is hilarious listening to @ivanbrandon's outrage over another man's Xbox freebies. #
13:55 Famous photos as commented upon by THE INTERNET. tinyurl.com/yjv5a3n #
16:22 Watching Richard Avedon: Darkness & Light doc. www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpIZ_S38A_0&feature=related #
18:24 So instead of putting together a Derby Dolls yearbook thing, this scrapbook is turning into a photo journal of my life since April 2008 #
18:26 Greetings Princess, it is I, Carlos the Dwarf! The dragon has been slain and you are now free to rule your kingdom. #
19:28 @grohac HOLD FAST #
21:59 @MikeIsErnie FUTURE AWESOME IS GONNA BE SO VERY AWESOME #

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Tue, 01 Dec 2009 08:01:51 GMT

00:07 Kirk Hammett solos on a Lou Reed song is just weird #
09:57 Portraits of Power, portraits of world leaders from UN general assembly by Platon, with audio comments. tinyurl.com/ylsk4g2 #
11:22 I have never lusted over a door before, but ZOMG! tinyurl.com/yb8vptj #
13:11 BTW you guys, THIEF is fucking amazing. James Caan's finest moment. www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfetsPmDWAk #
15:47 PHOTOS: LA Derby Dolls Enforcers photoshoot by me and Stalkerazzi! www.flickr.com/photos/charliechu/sets/72157622908853394/ #
18:59 Championships for this season's LA Derby Dolls is Saturday, and IT'S MY LAST BOUT AS THEIR PHOTOGRAPHER. tinyurl.com/kqfwd8 #

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Mon, 30 Nov 2009 08:01:43 GMT

23:38 Everyone on the HBO Rock and Roll Hall of Fame super concert looks like an old lesbian to me #
23:41 None moreso than Simon & Garfunkle #
23:46 @twergi are you counting apes and chimps? #

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Sun, 29 Nov 2009 08:01:41 GMT

07:08 My car is pretty fast but MAN I wish there was a gear marked "getthefuckouttadodge." #
17:10 Apparently you can fall down some stairs while driving your Escalade #

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Sat, 28 Nov 2009 08:01:48 GMT

13:09 @alisonhaislip you should test drive a wrx. That's how I ended up with mine over the gti #
18:51 Dear LA I miss you very much and was hoping to be back tonight but instead will be back tomorrow. Let us never speak of this weekend again. #

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Fri, 27 Nov 2009 08:01:51 GMT

00:12 That was totally Nick Sobotka in the Sunny in Philly Xmas special! #
11:34 Man Blakroc is awesome #
15:50 You gotta be Vietnamese to understand the exquisite horror, but my family has canceled Thanksgiving dinner to watch Paris By Night instead. #
21:54 Missed dinner ON FUCKING THANKSGIVING. I am never doing this again #
22:24 @DorkDuJour I'll tell you all about it when I get back to LA. This shit is epic squared in its epic fail #

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Thu, 26 Nov 2009 08:02:07 GMT

01:16 @dennisculver Dude seriously, we MUST love this band to sit through this nonsense. #
01:40 @dennisculver Also, Fallon has no idea how to be funny #
12:59 @ivanbrandon that's just mean. #
13:00 @Sk8j THE WHO! www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlBip8CV1P8 #
13:20 @laurennmcc HI-FIVE #
13:36 @laurennmcc Here's a another question: which is the superior Manzarek joint? X or The Doors? #
13:37 @laurennmcc To be fair at this point any reference to The Doors is just baiting you. #
13:42 HAPPY BIRTHDAY @looori! I hope you get fancy cake with your turkey this weekend. #
14:48 @laurennmcc PDX IN 2012 #
15:12 @nicklocking I forget, where are you living now? #

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Wed, 25 Nov 2009 08:01:51 GMT

11:28 FUCK YESSSSSS BATTLEZONE www.atari.com/arcade/battlezone #
14:57 I can't tell if this is legit or if Franco is trying to one-up Joaquin Phoenix. tinyurl.com/yl8pltj #
14:58 @soulbarn TEMPEST! Man I love that game! #
16:29 I hate feeling like Fredo in Godfather II and trying to convince people you're not a complete idiot. #

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Tue, 24 Nov 2009 08:02:24 GMT

00:12 Ehn, fuck it. I'll build the book by hand with Xactos and rubber cement. #
02:10 Why is it that I can only make progress super late at night between the hours of "pass out" and "fuckity AM?" #
12:12 All I want to do is go home and shoot zombies as Coach. #
12:20 @Sk8j I'll be on around 10 #
12:38 Stalkerazzi's 1,132 photos from the Tough Cookies / Swarm bout animated as a short music video. www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQ6vQ-0PteI #
12:46 PHOTOS: LA Derby Dolls - Baby Doll Brawl / Jr. Derby Dolls double-header (11/15/09) tinyurl.com/y9q4dta #
16:48 Blog for the production of Steve Martin's play, PICASSO AT LAPIN AGILE I'm doing photos for: pnrproductions.tumblr.com/ #
16:56 Anybody in LA know wardrobe / stylists who want to work on self-indulgent editorial photoshoot? Looking for early 80's punk chic for ladies. #
18:55 @hanqduong Did you high-five her? Cuz you should. #

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Mon, 23 Nov 2009 08:01:47 GMT

00:24 @grohac The better to scam you without a quote in writing? #
07:52 nobody should be up this early on a Sunday. But MAN do I love casting sessions! #
20:11 These taken today are now in my own fave photos, of one of my fave people discovering she made LADD subpool. tinyurl.com/ylsqd5e #
23:51 Anybody know anything about custom bookmaking / bookbinding? Want to assemble a personal yearbook of prints from my time with LA Derby Dolls #

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Sun, 22 Nov 2009 08:01:54 GMT

09:47 Whippity Pow is also a great derby name, but the gold standard for me will always be Sandra Day O'Clobber. #
10:12 I have too many photos from Baby Doll Brawl / Jr Derby bout with just under 100 selects. The dream of keeping my picks to under 30 is dead. #
10:48 Some days a man has to fit 48 hours worth of fun into a 24 hour day #
19:32 Billboard for "The Squeakquel" drives home the fact that I've made the right decision #

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Sat, 21 Nov 2009 08:01:55 GMT

13:56 Dentist lady, I know it's just a fancy waterpik you're using but HOLY GOD it feels like you're stabbing my mouth with tiny lightsabers! #
14:57 Interview with HOLY SHIT AWESOME photographer Frank Ockenfels. www.aphotoeditor.com/2009/11/20/frank-w-ockenfels-3-interview/ #
16:21 @mattfraction Is there a good film lab you like in Portland? #
18:00 @xtop That sounds like a sign to leave #
18:13 Seriously @criterion, work your rights issues out so I can have my RAN blu-ray! DO! WANT! #
19:58 Total Recall: A film so violent, even goldfish get killed! www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYNA1Cr4WUo&feature=player_embedded #
20:02 My new favorite roller derby name is courtesy of a tiny jr. derby skater named CARNAGE ASADA! #
20:41 @radmartigan Portland is full of SECRETS! #

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Fri, 20 Nov 2009 08:04:16 GMT

00:17 Assassin's Creed 2 should win some award for "Best Unintentional Comedy Game of 2009" for the HILARIOUS voice acting. #
01:48 @alexgetchell Seriously dude, CANNOT. STOP. LAUGHING. #
10:57 PHOTOS: LA Derby Dolls - Tough Cookies vs The Swarm (11/14/09) www.flickr.com/photos/charliechu/sets/72157622709468687/ #
14:40 A great essay about the No Russian level on Modern Warfare 2 by @kierongillen. tinyurl.com/yf6mwn9 #
15:15 @grohac I think if you can conjure the Old One in an interview at will, you could be hired at any company. #
17:20 Homiez, PLEASE VOTE FOR MY HOMIES @thatgamecompany! Their excellent game FLOWER deserves to win! tinyurl.com/y8g45fr (plz rt!) #
17:28 There are many things I can forgive. But two things I will never forgive are lies and bad taste. #
18:52 ATTENTION COMIC BOOK CREATORS: This is how you are supposed to draw asian womens www.youtube.com/watch?v=It3cc5ofXUk #

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Thu, 19 Nov 2009 08:01:46 GMT

10:08 FOOD PORN PHOTOS: Anisette Brassiere brunch. www.flickr.com/photos/charliechu/sets/72157622830450460/ #
10:10 VIDEO: Bout intro from last Saturday's game that I cut together. www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5f-Guas-ew&fmt=18 #
11:33 Holy crap, print photos as WALLPAPER!!! www.printedspace.com/walls.aspx #
11:48 Photographer.... fashion.... editorial? WTF Japan. www.think-silly.com/feature/camera_feature/ (Interviews are great, though) #
11:54 @chipch13 Depends on how much fidelity you care about and how far you would be staring from. I'd say anything above 10mp is fine. #
12:05 Fashion editorial inspired by Malick's Badlands. Interesting, but the result feels like a missed opportunity. tinyurl.com/yjsmfov #
13:41 McCormick and Schmicks on Rodeo feels like Red Lobster for the fancy pants set #
16:11 @kellysue You may have already heard, but our pal ASANO! is in the THOR movie! www.variety.com/article/VR1118011469.html #
16:23 Brahm Revel's GUERILLAS is pretty fucking amazing. Vietnam War + gorillas + machine guns = WIN. www.elrevel.com #
16:41 @mikejstein Dusty's in Echo Park serves a mean poutine, and Animal has one as well. (Though it'll be nice to have a cheaper option.) #
18:51 @therealcliffyb He's also a pretty good photographer. www.jeffbridges.com/photomay08.html #
22:48 Nelson Mandela recruiting space aliens to win an important rugby game with cat food sounds like a much better movie #
23:36 BASTARDO! #
23:56 @hanqduong is asking if now is least rapey in history. "Don't get me wrong, it's still kinda rapey, but historcally we're doing alright!" #
00:01 This character model in Assassin's Creed 2 looks like Billy Mitchell, or as @hanqduong put it, "BILLISSIMO MITCHELLO!" #

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Wed, 18 Nov 2009 08:02:10 GMT

02:05 Yep, that first Arcade Fire album is still awesome. #
02:35 @kierongillen DETROIT METAL CITY! SATSUGAIIIIIII!!! (OK it might be inappropriate for a 6 year old....) #
15:08 Misadventures of PB Winterbottom launches website! YAY! www.winterbottomgame.com #
16:45 @sethhurley I look forward to Musashi killing another 70+ dudes across 500 pages of comics. #
18:18 RT @laderbydolls get your photo fix from Stalkerazzi: www.flickr.com/photos/mcampos/sets/72157622698879935 #

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Tue, 17 Nov 2009 08:01:51 GMT

02:27 I have survived the November month of reckoning with the LA Derby Dolls. I have a ton of great photos, posters, videos, and MEEEEMORIESSSS #
13:18 The flyer for the LA Derby Dolls championship bout is bonkers and designed by Jordan Crane. tinyurl.com/ycfhbwk #
13:21 GAHHHHH I want new glasses but all the swanky stuff is made in Japan and I can't navigate a Japanese shopping cart. #
14:08 @radiomaru this is the best question ever asked on the twitters #
14:11 @radiomaru I think the Beatles forum would be awesome if they were as industrious and nerdy as the Radiohead fans in bootlegging everything. #
14:17 Skatum O'Neal wins the afterparty twitpic.com/psqdq #
14:36 @hanqduong you bastard my spot in line is way- waitNEVERMIND #
16:54 Seriously, does it get more douchebaggy fancy than a Hermes branded Leica M7? tinyurl.com/y9ddc2q #
17:05 RT @thatgamecompany Flower & Jenova Chen in NYTimes Magazine article! bit.ly/2ijzDV #
17:06 Had a meeting at UTA today. I have never heard the words "what else do you got" uttered at me in such rapid succession. #
17:09 I did get to stare at this Gregory Crewdson print on the wall at UTA. www.paranaiv.no/files/images/gregory_crewdson_01_04.jpg #
17:45 @stevensanders Y'know, I really would love to shoot with a Leica rangefinder system, just to be stealthy. But GAHHHH I hate ltd edition crap #
18:18 @stevensanders Nah, you look through viewfinder that is separate from the actual lens that takes the photo. Makes for a MUCH smaller camera. #
18:20 @xtop WHAT #
18:30 @stevensanders Tiny lenses, silent shutter. VERY low profile. You don't really appreciate the difference until you hold one in your hands. #
18:33 @stevensanders It also costs more than a good digital camera system for the privilege to shoot full manual and on film. So that's the minus. #
19:43 @stevensanders well there is a digital Leica body, but it's 5K alone so screw that noise #
20:34 @stevensanders 99% is shot with my 24-70 f2.8. I also use a 50mm f1.4 and an 80-200 f2.8, but primarily the 24-70. #
22:39 Now trying to figure out Vietnamese poker player derby themed name. #
22:40 Skatey Nguyen #

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Mon, 16 Nov 2009 08:03:06 GMT

00:36 Janis Choplin sez: "roller derby is a sport played without sticks and balls." So true. #
03:10 @jameslucasjones By epic you mean "fuckin' Chu and his repeated shoryukens" #
12:52 Great quotes from The Wire! bit.ly/2xdoXX #

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Sun, 15 Nov 2009 08:02:42 GMT

12:51 A militia dude just tried to stab me, but Soap ran and punched him in the chest with his rifle and then shot him a bunch of times. Wow, MW2. #

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Sat, 14 Nov 2009 08:03:14 GMT

00:38 Holy crap I'm finally done. Bout flyer, poster, promo, and intro. Now all I have to do is shoot two days worth of actual roller derby. #
11:38 Happy Friday! Here's a dancing guido. bit.ly/lBz0Z #
11:45 @stevensanders Nothing like laughing at guido to start off your day. #
13:25 @mikejstein DUDE I WILL THROWN DOWN WITH YOU. Do you still have an NES? #
14:13 YES. myparentswereawesome.tumblr.com #
16:01 Trying to come up with a cake themed roller derby name is hard. HELP ME @kellysue [Terrormisu is already taken] #
16:02 Pummel Cake? [a la funnel cake] #
16:04 @hanqduong @sethhurley Too.... literal? #
16:09 Slayer Cake is now the frontrunner #
16:11 @hanqduong That entrance music only works if I have a bunch of early 90s hos walking around #
16:14 Here comes @sethhurley with all the winners. Garrotte Cake / Bruise de Noel vs Slayer Cake. #
16:15 @hanqduong I can't believe you didn't go for it #
16:17 I'm going with Garrotte Cake. @sethhurley, you are the recipient of this shiny new no-prize. Yay! #
16:21 @hanqduong GAHHHHHH INDECISION #
16:22 @terrytyson GODDAMN, CHOKE-A-LOT CAKE WORKS TOO #
16:26 Now I'm leaning back towards Slayer Cake. GAHHHHHH #
16:30 @hanqduong I think I'm joining a secret-but-not-really-secret society of cake eaters. #
16:31 @sethhurley I am ashamed. bit.ly/1FECV6 #
16:32 LADD people - I'll be at the track tonight with R&D. I'll have posters if you want them tonight. #
16:32 @thebryanparker Too literal! #
16:38 ONE POSTER LEFT. Buy it now! Email / DM / Facebook me. www.flickr.com/photos/charliechu/sets/72157622653229895/ #
16:58 @mikejstein I'm OK with that. #
18:23 POSTERS ARE SOLD OUT. Yay! #

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Fri, 13 Nov 2009 08:02:52 GMT

11:57 As a function of my job, I will be getting paid to play Uncharted 2 this afternoon. I'd like to hi-5 my 11 year old self. LIVING THE DREAM. #
12:23 ONLY 2 POSTERS LEFT! Email/DM/Facebook if interested. $20, 24x36, LA Derby Dolls - Tough Cookies vs The Swarm. tinyurl.com/ye6he8o #
14:22 hahahaha Bob Loblaw hahahaha #
15:08 @hanqduong You mean HOBO loungewear of the future #
17:42 BALLS. #
20:39 Have locked myself in at the work with laptop until I finish editing bout intro. If I go home, everything will be ruined due to Xbox Live. #
23:41 @byrneout PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE livetwitter your reactions to the writing #

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Thu, 12 Nov 2009 08:02:05 GMT

12:12 Yay Veterans! (Please don't shoot me cuz I'm Vietnamese.) #
12:46 LA Derby Dolls bout posters almost gone! ONLY FIVE LEFT! Email / DM / Facebook me NOW if you want one! tinyurl.com/ye6he8o #
13:29 RT @LADerbyDolls watch the 11/14 bout promo for tough cookies vs. the swarm and buy yr tix today! bit.ly/3Sm21J #
14:52 I dunno how I feel about being closer to the @kierongillen side of the Bowie argument. #
14:55 @kierongillen I AM ALWAYS RIGHT #
14:55 Plugging in my firewire Final Cut Pro always makes me feel like I'm fueling up the Delorean. #
15:05 @kierongillen Also, congrats on SWORD #1 today. However I will still only remember you as the guy screaming "Gay Bar" out of my car window #
15:08 LOOK OUT NERDS, I NOW HAZ MODERN WARFARE 2. #
16:19 RT @BreakingNews Longtime CNN anchor Lou Dobbs tells viewers he is resigning. [heading to Fox....?] #
16:55 @Teanah Dude, if you put a gun to my head I'd say Facebook Bejeweled Blitz was my game of the year. #

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Wed, 11 Nov 2009 08:02:52 GMT

00:04 Man, I completely forgot how hilarious Bone Thugs & Phil Colins is. bit.ly/1KL9N #
00:06 OK, making the long trip to Alameda in downtown. Seriously guys, I hope I don't get murdered. #
00:29 Not exactly the safest looking storefront I've ever seen twitpic.com/oz77a #
00:38 Midnight pickup of bout posters. So stoked! twitpic.com/oz7q2 #
00:49 Waiting for the last few posters to be cut. twitpic.com/oz8cu #
11:17 Everyone I know already has MW2. My preorder with Amazon from two months ago? Now DELAYED. WTF. #amazonsucks #
15:29 POSTER 4 SALE! LADD Bout poster, $20, hand silkscreened and AWESOME. Twitter, Email, Facebook me! tinyurl.com/ye6he8o (plz RT) #
15:43 Holy crap, 7 posters sold already. It's been like 10 minutes. #
15:43 @grohac BONER jams #
15:59 @patrickkeller LA Derby Dolls, yo. #
16:38 SKATERS! If you want a poster, let me know asap because it's doubtful there'll be any by bout day. (20 left) tinyurl.com/ye6he8o #
17:01 @alexgetchell Just wait. You will start humping the TV when you get to um... well. Many other scenes involving explosions and guns. #
17:13 Francis Lawrence's Lady Gaga video for "Bad Romance." Styling is crazy, but the rest is ehn Chris Cunningham. tinyurl.com/yjbpwee #
17:13 Yep. Just double checked. This is still the best music video ever. bit.ly/13o4io #
17:32 @querlvox To be fair, there's always: bit.ly/ssC28 #
17:42 @querlvox Watching it now, I don't know what's more fetishistic, the girls in lingerie, or the Hasselblad backs and lenses? #
17:52 So in the Cry Me A River video, Timbaland is what, a Porsche driving pimp driving Timberlake's revenge hooker? BOOM WHOAAAAA #
17:54 20 posters spoken for, ONLY 15 LEFT. www.flickr.com/photos/charliechu/sets/72157622653229895/ #
18:06 I just received an email from corporate saying tomorrow there will be filming at work involving a green screen, and a large explosion. #

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Tue, 10 Nov 2009 08:03:24 GMT

00:36 Sweet JESUS this was the longest weekend ever. Pixies, secret meetings, foodie meetings, car shopping, and epic photoshoot. Life victory! #
01:04 @mtbradner Helping a buddy buy a (*ugh*) Prius. Chubaru is still awesome! #
01:19 Seriously man, Stalkerazzi doesn't get NEARLY ENOUGH credit. Best photographer in all of roller derby. www.flickr.com/photos/mcampos #
16:27 "Somebody move this goddamn rug / I almost tripped three times" tinyurl.com/yjljrq3 #
16:41 Dustin Humphrey's "Dopamine" series is kinda batshit awesome. bit.ly/7Z2Oe #
17:23 @stevensanders Probably 90% shopped, but done REALLY well. #
17:30 @stevensanders I'm assuming it's judicial use of studio shooting and then shooting plates of the above/below water stuff and then comping. #
17:48 @stevensanders Yep. Soft overhead light on subject w/ smoke machine on a neutral bg, then pshop into underwater scene, add grain texture. #
17:49 @stevensanders Girls with nude print swimsuits exempted, of course. :) #
18:34 @Teanah You are hilariously cruel. #
22:22 So lemme get this right: to get "posters," I have to pick them up from a girl in downtown at midnight I contact by cell phone? WTF #
22:29 I would like to point out that Vietnam just saved health reform. YOU'RE WELCOME, WHITE PEOPLE. #
23:55 Time to go see a lady in industrial downtown about some giant posters. I hope I don't get murderstabbed. #
00:00 @scarlene Make sure this played at my wake. bit.ly/gB8Mj #

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Mon, 09 Nov 2009 08:03:13 GMT

09:17 Woke up out of a very strange nightmare involving my ex-girlfriend, suicide, humiliation, and cults. WTF Sunday?!? #
09:32 @mikejstein Sounds like somebody discovered the magic of Cabazon. #

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Sun, 08 Nov 2009 08:03:39 GMT

12:04 At Din Tai Fung, home of the world's finest hand dryer. SUCK IT DYSON AIR BLADE! twitpic.com/onggi #
20:05 @hanqduong @fordgilmore @katharinealice Dyson Airblade's rubber thingies are too close together! Makes you touch dirty germs! #
21:41 In line for Trapped In The Closet with aziz ansari and Paul scheer. It's been long enough that itll be freshly funny again #

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